What is Your Fear?

During the fall of 2007, I experienced my first snorkeling excursion in Cozumel, Mexico.  As the date of my trip approached, I was so excited.  I probably prepared more than the typical person - purchasing all my gear and even invested in snorkeling lessons.  By the end of the weeklong training, I was more than ready for my adventure.  I knew how to deep dive, take in air to expand my lungs to hold my breath longer, and how to expel the water after coming to the surface.  I was ready.

As our tour team took us to our dive site, I was feeling real good.  As we approach our site, we got our last instructions from the guide, geared up, and folks began diving into ocean.  Then it was my turn to step off the side of the catamaran.  I approached the step and just froze.  Fear was setting in.  I saw all the water around that boat and it was almost over for me.  However, I could not believe I came all the way around the world just to get to this point and change my mind.

Internally, I was feeling all the elements of fear.  But I kept telling myself you gotta do this...you can do this.  So with gentle coaching by my guide, I slowly sat down on the step, got my fins on, attached my goggle and headpiece, and then stopped again.  It was like jumping out of a perfectly good plane.  But then something took over and among all the elements of fear, I said,  "I'm ready" and I deliberately and slowly slid into the water.

Then something happened.  The fear was slowly replaced with a peace and excitement that was the likes of a kid in a candy store.  Reflecting back now, I realize if I had not taken that major step from the step of the boat to the water, I would not have experienced the beauty of the sea and all it has to welcome us with.

Webster's dictionary defines fear as " frighten; to feel fear in (oneself); to have a reverential awe of (fear God); to be afraid of: expect with alarm (fear the worst); or to be afraid or apprehensive (fear for their lives)" (2011).  We all have experienced some event in our lives that manifested fear in us.  Perhaps it was when we were toddlers and a parent approached us smiling from ear to ear, only to get eye to eye and then yell "Boo!"  Do you remember the feelings it created?  How about the time many of us had our first roller croaster ride like the Kingda Ka at Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson, New Jersey?  Remember the feelings that were manifested when the car you were riding gradually proceeded towards to peak of the ride?  Did you dare look down or did you close your eyes and grip the hand rail till your knuckles were white?  Or, do you recall the time a loved one was terribly ill and you rushed them to the hospital in the middle of the night - only to prance the waiting room and waiting intently for someone to tell you what was going on.  Remember the physical feelings that those moments created.  And, what about the time you encountered a terrible conflict with a family member, co-worker, or nasty clerk at the grocery store all of who intended on getting in your face yelling and scream when you perhaps asked a simply question or said nothing at all.

 I think we can all say we experienced similar situations that have made us uncomfortable resulting in us feeling terrible, with sweaty palms, jitters, and a sense that our stomach was in our throat - all hoping when will this be over.  What was your experience of fear and how did it make you feel?    


Reference:

Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary (2011).  Retrieved from:  http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fear